Communicating about Relationships
Content and Relational Messages
Maintaining and Supporting Relationships
EVERY MESSAGE HAS A CONTEXT AND A RELATIONAL MESSAGE!!!!
*As mentioned in Chapter One
"It's your turn to do the dishes"
Meaning:"I have a right to tell you what to do around the house”
Meaning: “I’m just reminding you of something you might have overlooked.
"I'm busy Saturday night"
Relational Messages deal with:
Sometimes these messages don't capture our awareness because they match our belief about the amount of control, liking, or intimacy that is appropriate in a relationship.
You probably won’t be offended if your boss tells you to drop everything and tackle a certain job because you agree that supervisors have the right to direct employees. However, if your boss delivered the order in a condescending, sarcastic, or abusive tone of voice, you would probably be offended. Your complaint wouldn’t be with the order itself but with the way it was delivered. “I may work for this company,” you might think, “but I’m not a slave or an idiot. I deserve to be treated like a human being.
Can you help me for a minute?
Messages that refer to other messages.
In other words, metacommunication is communication about communication
“I wish we could stop arguing so much,” or “I appreciate how honest you’ve been with me.”
Talking directly about the nature of the relationship and disclosing your personal needs and concerns. This includes metacommunication and relational work, as discussed in the preceding section.
Letting the other person know—both verbally and nonverbally—that he or she matters to you and that you are committed to the relationship.
Helping one another take care of life’s chores and obligations
Keeping the relational climate polite and upbeat and also avoiding criticism.
Social Media in Relational Maintenance:
Social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram give communicators the chance to keep up with each other through status updates especially long distance relationships.
Warning: there’s the risk that constant updates will leave little to talk about in person