- helps one decide what they want to achieve through arguing
- helps determine what it takes in order to create the desired outcome happen
2. set your goals for your audience:
- helps one decide what is needed in order to persuade their audience to do what they want
**3 goals for persuading audience: stimulate emotions/change mood, change their opinion, and get them to act
example- getting pulled over by a police officer for going over the speed limit by 5 mph. Set your goals... would you rather make a sarcastic comment or pay the ticket?... make the cop angry or feel bad for you?
M A I N T A K E A W A Y S F R O M C H AP T E R T W O
IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER WHEN ENGAGING IN ARGUMENTS AND REMEMBERING YOUR GOALS
fights vs. arguments
- try to win over audience
- use disputes to solve issues and work out differences
- subtle, eloquent approach leads to long-term commitment
-can take a great deal of courage
-a good persuader and team builder
- uses blame-shifting
- tries to score points or 'win'
- aggressors win temporary
victory through intimidation or
talking audience to exhaustion
- never persuades; only inspires revenge or retreat
- achieves nothing in the end
E X A M P L E :
psychologist did study on married couples...
divorced/unhappy couples: attacked each other and seemed to have no purpose or goal in "arguing"
happy couples: used arguments to find and solve issues. showed faith in the end
After setting your goals, then ask yourself, "What is the issue?"
The greeks believed that the issue boiled down to three things: blame, value, and choice.
Blame- deals with issues of justice (“who did it?”) - forensics rhetoric
Value-Handles what a person believes (good vs. bad) - demonstrative rhetoric
Choice- deals with choices and how to come to a mutual goal (to be, or not to be) - deliberate rhetoric
M A I N T A K E A W A Y
you will never meet your goals if you argue around the wrong core issues.
EXAMPLE FROM BOOK
She: Can you turn that down a little?
He: You’re the one who set the volume last.
She: Oh really, then who was blasting “Free Bird” all over the place this afternoon?
He: So that's what this is about. You hate my music.
...she just wanted quietness out of the argument. She wanted him to choose to turn it down. But instead of choice, the argument turns into blame and values.