The speech you want to nominate for the nobel prize
"I would like to thank everyone I know, though it is unrelated to my speech. Next, I would like to tell a general story about something Alba/Jan and I once did, which would be funny if you would have been there. Then, I would like to drag on my speech, lose my train of thought and suddently stop because it is becoming awkward."
The three minute threshold
“After checking hundreds of sites and finally finding the perfect dress that meets Alba's criteria, Alba looked at my dress, stared me in the eyes and told me that I’m ugly no matter what I wear.”
"Alba is always honest."
How to speech
Ever heard a great speech read trembling from a piece of paper? Neither have we. Your happy place is preparation, not inspiration.
Thinking you are that one exception that can "wing it". Your mother was wrong. You are not a unique and beautiful snowflake.
Approaching this speech as a military operation rivalling the invasion of Normandy
Are you the reincarnation of dr. Martin Luther King? If the answer is no, we would suggest you keep it short mofo.
Keep it short
The speech that makes you want to kill yourself
Starting immediately, using a clear structure and staying within the three minute threshold, leaving everyone wanting for more after a perfect ending that echoes in our heart chambers.
You love geeky legal jokes? Guess what, only 10% of the crowd agrees. The other 90% will – rightfully so – get annoyed with cold pasta.
Know your audience
A speech about the resemblance of Alba & Jan’s love to the pending amendment of the Dutch constitution
Being a boss
A speech about transcendental values such as love, friendship, greed and revenge
Show don't tell
Love the sight of yawning people? Or do you prefer a nomination for the Nobel prize? We thought as much. Stop telling and start showing.